In my parallel life, I'm a psychologist. I obsess over decoding human behavior. I even pride myself on my accurate predictions when the feelings/fears/flaws/hopes/denials of my kindred are related to me after they are finally realized. Because, (like any good pseudo head doctor) you can't just come out and be direct with the object of your analysis. They have to figure it out for themselves! I keep my opinions to myself, listen, love and support, and give myself a private pat on the back if my thoughts are proved correct.
It's been my experience that each of us has these territorial wealth's of knowledge; subjects on which we feel, or have been deemed experts. I especially find this to be the case for my peers. Now 4, 5, and 6 years out of academia, some more recently with advanced degrees, we're all working in different industries, having been well-Christened in our various crafts. Some of us are nurses, some on the way to being doctors, some lawyers, teachers, engineers, personal trainers, some Moms and Dads, some law enforcement....the spectrum is wide and diverse. And some of us (ahem, Dr. Laughlin does have a nice ring to it) feel perfectly at ease asserting ownership over our hobbies. That's what it really is, isn't it? These little parts of the world that we feel we own, we've purchased the "rights" to. Whether it's the music we love, or the parts of the world we're from, our jobs, even relationships we've had and things that have happened to us...we each assert part of ourselves to those things, and those things to parts of ourselves.
I live in the south, but I've never claimed ownership over being southern....most of my friends who might call themselves such would probably laugh at me if I did. But it's always been fascinating to me, that dynamic of the deep south. I grew up in in the Midwest, but have *almost* reached the point where I've lived here longer than I lived there. And while most would agree that you have to go north to go really south, that southern culture resonates loud and strong in certain parts of Florida. Rather than proselytize my opinions on what the south has come to represent in modern pop culture (based on living among self-proclaimed "Southerners" for almost 12 years), I'd rather explore it as I've come to know it through literature and music. And, it's my contention, that it's a beautiful, dark thing...and has very little to do with geography. There are so many great artists and writers and musicians who chronicle the southern experience, and they're not all cowboys and country stars, y'all. I wouldn't define the south through a country singer, but through a melancholy one. That person could come from Los Angeles, CA, Piedmont, N.D., Birmingham, AL....or Chillicothe, IL. The history of the south is so marked with hate and tragedy. We all know that. And the south is still so defined by all those events that sometimes it becomes difficult to separate history from reality. It's easy to become entrenched in the romantic ideals of the past. However; it has passed, and it's in that space between memory and actuality that I've found my niche...for now.
I've done some evolving over the past 11 1/2 years. I've invented and reinvented myself, and reinvented myself again. An I'm not even 30. But...as much as I love the Midwest...I've come to know myself as a southerner. I'm flawed and I know it. I live with the mistakes I've made. I've been hurt, and persevered nonetheless. In our modern world, reinventing yourself isn't just a good idea, but an essential one. That popular phrase 'go big, or go home', which so many 'round these parts proclaim, isn't totally accurate, in my humble opinion. Evolve, or go home. Who we are and those pieces of this world we own, aren't always synonymous. If we want to progress, if we want to be relevant, we can't rely solely on the past and on what we used to do, or maybe even what we want to do. I watch these individuals who are 'occupying' Wall Street, and I understand the anger and frustration they feel. We live in big, bureaucratic society and it's easy to feel suffocated by its nature. But I can't say I believe their path is the truest one to change....mostly because I don't believe change is an urgent or even tangible thing. Change: evolution: reinvention....if there's one thing I've learned, it's that these things don't happen over night, and they certainly don't happen with out movement and action. I've planted my feet in times of crisis, and I can tell you with total sincerity, it's never born me any fruit. Get up...enact change with a voice, but don't expect anyone to speak for you, or hand you an answer. Be who you are, but do what you must to survive...to evolve. I'm a corn-fed, farm-lovin', liberal minded, southern girl. I accept the melancholy that life throws my way, because life and happiness aren't always synonymous either, despite our fevered pursuit of both.
Maybe, someday, those occupiers will realize that.
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