Money, honey. It's all I can think of these days. Which, I think for most people, is usual for this time of year. I'm constantly balancing in my head how much I've spent on each of my Christmas giftees, keeping a mental tab on my "credits" versus my "debits". I know there are fancy little apps that help a girl with all that jazz, but I'm organic (and prone to user error). And, as most things, likely to download or buy one and never use it at all. Precisely the biggest part of my problem! Money can burn a hole in my pocket faster than these guys can burn down the house. I'm constantly talking myself into, and then out of, and again into a good deal. "But those marvel hero's cookie cutters are 20% off! It doesn't matter that I never make cookies from scratch, or don't have a clue how to frost Spiderman's mask. Someday I might need that!" I'm an ad exec's dream come true, so easily convinced of a deal I can't afford to miss! At a time when I should be focusing on what really matters, it's so easy to get distracted by the glitz and glam of a good sale! Or just the glam of the season. Fortunately, for me, I have a grounded family, a generous fiance, and a humble child (well, sort of). We're not prone to requesting gifts we know we can't afford, or expect anyone to go into debt trying to fill the spots under the tree. We know Santa's sleigh makes a pretty big delivery on Dec. 24 1/2th, and so we're conscious of how much space our bag takes up.
That said, it's always nice to get little reminders here and there of how others give. I pay close attention to those moments when they catch my eye. It's not only inspiring to see it, but, in my experience, it's sustaining. It reminds me that there are good people, doing good deeds in the world, and any effort I make isn't in vain. There are individuals who exceed expectations and rise above the bar which has been set so low by our society's greedy, glammed up, manipulative market for giving. One such experience happened last week. I was in church...early for a change, having just dropped Michael off at Sunday School. Jim and I sat down and as the pews filled up, a woman assisting an older woman sat in front of us. I couldn't help but notice how affectionate and attentive the younger woman appeared to be, and quickly discerned that she was there with her mother (it also helped that she said 'Mom' several times). She kept her arm around her Mom, rubbing her shoulder, helped her find the page, and follow it. When it came time to kneel, she whispered "I'll kneel for both of us, Mom," a smile never leaving her face. I don't know why, but it struck a chord with me that's been ringing ever since. It's not abnormal to see these kinds of relationships, especially in a church. Lots of people care for ailing and elderly parents and family members, helping them to do those daily tasks which we so easily do and take for granted. Lots of people come to church as a family, helping each other, worshipping with each other. I even know a few who do it despite a difference in beliefs...just because they love their parents or grandparents that much. I couldn't tell you what it was about these two women, their heads close together as they whispered prayers, and love back and forth, a daughter holding her mother close, and a mother leaning on her daughter....that made me so emotional. Maybe it reminded me of my Mom and me...maybe it reminded me of how tricky life is, and how quickly it goes, reversing the roles of 'parents' and 'children' as we age and our needs change. Or, maybe, I'm just a big sap with a heart that's easily stirred. Probably all three. But, regardless, I spent most of that mass praying for the two of them, that both daughter and mother; caretaker and patient; giver and receiver, may feel rested, loved, and whole.
In this season of giving, it's easy to let the chatter of the world drown out the whispered signs which are sent our way. I'm just glad for that day, that moment: a reminder that the most precious gifts we receive, and the most priceless gifts we give....aren't found on black Friday. A moment like that is something I definitely can't afford to miss.
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